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  • Writer's pictureRadhika Garg

Why Kids Argue: Learning about Being Kind Friends

Welcome parents! Have you ever wondered why sometimes friends argue or disagree with each other?  As caregivers of young children, you're no strangers to the occasional squabble between siblings or friends. Yet, within these conflicts lies an opportunity for growth and learning.

Today, we delve into the dynamics of children's disagreements, aiming to uncover the underlying reasons behind their disputes and, more importantly, to impart valuable lessons on fostering kindness and empathy.

In our journey together, we'll navigate through the complex world of childhood emotions, exploring how feelings such as frustration, jealousy, and confusion can often manifest as arguments. By understanding the root causes of these conflicts, we equip ourselves with the knowledge needed to guide our children towards more constructive interactions.

Through this exploration, we aim not only to address the immediate challenges of managing children's disputes but also to instill in them the fundamental principles of kindness and friendship. As young minds absorb lessons from their surroundings, it is our responsibility as parents to provide them with the tools necessary to navigate social interactions with grace and empathy.

Let us commence on this journey together, as we unravel the mysteries of children's arguments and sow the seeds of kindness in their hearts.

Why Do kids Sometimes Fight?

In the vibrant world of toddlers, conflicts often arise from a plethora of everyday situations. Understanding these common triggers enable us to understand the intricate dynamics of early social interactions.

  1. Sharing Toys: Possessiveness over toys is a prevalent source of contention among toddlers. With limited understanding of sharing, they struggle to navigate the concept of ownership. This leads to quarrels over prized commodities, as each child seeks exclusive control over these commodities.

  2. Taking Turns: Patience does not come naturally to many toddlers, resulting in disputes over taking turns. Whether it's a swing at the playground or a favourite book, the desire for immediate gratification clashes with the need to wait. This imbalance often leads to frustration in kids.

  3. Disagreeing on Games: As toddlers begin to assert their preferences, clashes ensue when choosing games or activities. Differing interests and abilities can complicate playtime, leading to arguments over which game to play or how to play it.

  4. Seeking Attention from Parents: Toddlers crave attention, especially from their primary caregivers. When they perceive a rival for parental affection, jealousy and rivalry can develop. Competing for attention through disruptive behaviour or unreasonable demands can escalate into conflicts with peers.

Understanding these common triggers allows caregivers to proactively address conflicts and teach essential social skills to their offsprings. Encouraging empathy, patience, and communication lays the groundwork for healthier relationships in the future.

Structured activities that emphasize cooperation and turn-taking can help mitigate disputes over shared resources. Additionally, teaching positive conflict resolution techniques provides valuable examples for toddlers to follow.

In conclusion, exploring the common reasons for arguments among toddlers enables us to understand the intricacies of early social development. By addressing these triggers with patience and guidance, caregivers can create a harmonious environment where toddlers learn to navigate conflicts with empathy and cooperation.

Learning to solve problems:

a. Introducing problem-solving skills

We at Headstart, understand that introducing problem-solving skills to address in-fighting among toddlers is essential for their social development. Parents can teach kids simple strategies to resolve conflicts peacefully, such as taking turns, sharing, and using words to express their feelings.

By introducing problem-solving techniques early on, toddlers learn to deal with disagreements in a constructive manner, which fosters empathy and cooperation. We do the same by encouraging kids to come up with solutions together by facilitating them to resolve conflicts together through different kinds of group activities.

These activities include scavenger hunt, puzzle-solving, building blocks challenge, etc. Additionally, parents can demonstrate effective problem-solving behaviours, displaying patience and understanding in resolving conflicts. By teaching problem-solving skills in children, caregivers equip them with essential tools to manage conflicts and build positive relationships with friends.

Thus, introducing problem-solving skills lays a solid foundation for kids to develop fundamental social and emotional skills that will benefit them throughout their lives.

b. Steps to Solve a Disagreement


When toddlers encounter disagreements, there are important steps they can take to settle them peacefully. Firstly, listening to each other is key. This means paying attention to what the other person is saying without interrupting. By listening carefully, toddlers can understand each other's feelings and perspectives better.

Secondly, finding solutions together is crucial. Toddlers can brainstorm ideas and work collaboratively to find a resolution that satisfies everyone involved. This promotes a sense of teamwork and cooperation.

Lastly, compromising is essential in resolving disagreements. This means both parties being willing to give up something to reach a mutual agreement. For example, if two toddlers are arguing over a toy, they can take turns playing with it or find another toy to share.

Mother -teachers at Headstart teach kids to compromise that help them understand the importance of sharing and cooperation.

We By following these steps - listening to each other, finding solutions together, and compromising - toddlers can learn valuable problem-solving skills that will help them navigate conflicts in a positive and constructive manner.

c.  Role-playing scenarios:

Role-playing scenarios can be a valuable tool for teaching young kids how to manage fighting and conflicts in a constructive manner. By acting out different situations, children can practice responding to disagreements in a safe and controlled environment.

For example, we can create scenarios where children take on different roles, such as the one who wants a toy and the one who has it.

Through role-play, children can learn to understand each other's perspectives and feelings, which promotes empathy and understanding.

Caregivers can guide the role-play by asking questions and offering suggestions for how to resolve the conflict peacefully. For instance, our well-trained teachers at Headstart, encourage children to use words to express their feelings or to find an agreement during different day-to-day activities like snacks-sharing during mealtime, taking turns on the slide and sharing toys.  

Role-playing also helps children develop problem-solving skills as they brainstorm solutions together. By practicing these scenarios regularly, children become more confident in their ability to manage conflicts and communicate effectively with their peers.

Overall, role-playing provides a fun and interactive way for young kids to learn important social skills that will serve them well in their interactions with others.


Being Kind Friends

Being kind among young kids is crucial for fostering positive relationships and creating a harmonious environment. When children are kind to each other, it creates a sense of safety and trust.

They feel comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their thoughts and feelings with others. Kindness also promotes empathy and understanding, as children learn to consider the feelings and perspectives of their peers. By practicing kindness, children develop important social skills that will benefit them throughout their lives. They learn how to cooperate, communicate effectively, and resolve conflicts peacefully.

Additionally, being kind helps children build self-esteem and confidence, as they experience the joy of making others happy. Kindness thus lays the foundation for strong friendships and a supportive community, where children can thrive and grow together.

Ways to show kindness to friends:

There are many ways small kids can show kindness to their friends. A way to show kindness is by helping friends when they need it. This could mean helping them clean up a spill or lending them a hand when they're struggling with something. Saying kind words and giving compliments is also a simple yet powerful way to show kindness.

Kids can tell their friends how much they appreciate them or give them a compliment on something they've done well. Lastly, being inclusive and inviting friends to join in on activities is a great way to show kindness and make everyone feel included and valued.

Parents as well as teachers should encourage and create scenarios for kids where they are motivated to be kind with each other. Such scenarios may include sharing snacks, being empathic and to use reassuring words for their peers when they are home-sick or are hurt. These small acts of kindness can make a big difference in nurturing positive friendships and creating a supportive community among kids.


The above-mentioned scenarios and advice are just a tip of the iceberg when it comes to understanding the psychology of children. By sowing the seeds of virtues like empathy, sharing, effective communication etc. we enable children to effectively engage with their surroundings.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention, said the famous poet Kahlil Gibran. By teaching our children to empathize with others would not only help them in their personal development but also lay a solid foundation for the country and society as a whole.

Our team at ‘Headstart’ hopes that this blog helped the readers better understand the behaviour of their offsprings and ways to overcome the difficulties. We are sincerely thankful for your patronage and expect you to shower your love in our future endeavours.

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